I love those words that make up the title of one of C.S. Lewis’ books. I’ve been thinking of that lately and I think those words very accurately explain how my life is today versus what I always imagined it would be.
There are times when I feel like I get a tiny glimpse of my life from the outside. Like when I pull back the shower curtain and find that my husband is drying out my girls’ new mermaid dolls by hanging them upside in my shower. I am a bit taken back and I giggle to myself. There are just little things in my life, such as this, that I never could have imagined. They surprise me and they make me smile.
I have always been a planner. As a young teen, I had my life planned out until about age 40. It included things like joining the Air Force (if you know me at all, it is so weird that I ever had this plan), becoming an architect, marrying young and popping out four kids by the time I was 30. I even had floor plans picked out for the home I’d live in (I still have them, just in case…).
As a 13 year old, even as a 20 year old (when some of those dreams had already evaporated), I would have been appalled to hear that I’d be a stay at home wife and mother. I’d have been disappointed that I’d barely eeked out two kids by the time I was 30. I would have cringed at my mini-van, I would have raised an eyebrow at the early apartment that my husband and I lived in, and I would have certainly had something to say about the fact that I never survived more than a year in a pre-architecture program.
To sum it up, to my young self, my current life would have looked disappointing. But instead, I find myself surprised at every corner. Surprised at the ways that God changes me and molds me as I surrender myself to His will. Surprised at the ways that the desires of my heart change. Surprised at the sheer joy I feel living this life.
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
Delight yourself in God, seek His will and His heart, ask Him to mold the desires in your heart and He will grant them. And you will be surprised by JOY.