I want to preface this post with the honest reminder that “I ain’t no theologian.” Any thoughts I have on Scripture are simply thoughts…..not anything I’ve researched thoroughly or even been taught by someone with more knowledge than me. This is just my real life and my real thoughts.
Yesterday I was overwhelmed by them….blessed beyond what I expected. And it got me thinking….I was literally brought to tears by the blessings and the kindness of those around me. Am I normally not so grateful or what is it lately that has me feeling so very, very blessed?
A friend bought tickets and took me to see The Blind Boys of Alabama last night. I was excited, but it wasn’t until during the very first song of the concert that I considered how incredibly thoughtful and selfless my friend had been. Of course I thought it was sweet and nice that she was taking me out, but it didn’t really sink in how thoughtful she had truly been. Although she really enjoyed the show that night, she isn’t particularly a gospel fan (she didn’t even know who the Blind Boys were). She bought the tickets because she thought that I would love the show (and did!).
Before the concert, we made a date to go out to eat. I wanted to pay since she had forked over quite a bit of money for the tickets. So we went to a nicer restaurant in town, ordered some delicious meals, and enjoyed the company and the food. As we were finishing our meal, our waiter informed us that the table at the end of the room had gotten our ticket and was taking care of our dinner. Tears came to my eyes….some friends from church had picked up the (not light) tab on our meal, for no reason other than to be generous.
Poor in Spirit
By the end of the night, I was thinking of the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:
3“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Not only have we been feeling a bit down and out financially, I have also been feeling “poor in spirit”–a bit lonely, a bit broken. I have faced difficulties in relationships lately or just a lack of meaningful, deep friendships (something my soul LONGS for). In my brokenness and poverty of spirit, I think I feel blessings in a deeper, more profound way.
It’s not hormones, OKAY?
At different times in my life, when a moment or a circumstance or a story has caught me emotionally, I have allowed people to tell me it’s hormones. At times I’m pretty sure my husband has shrugged off my tears as “being a chick”. But lately I have realized that when I am closest to the Lord, I am far more emotional and sensitive to people and to blessings. I tear up for little reason, my heart breaks for people I barely know. I receive a couple of blessings and fight off tears all night. I feel thankful to be in a place that allows me to be touched like this. Poverty of the spirit does show me a piece of God and a bit of His kingdom that I may not see when I’m not so hungry and desperate for Him. Is this what Jesus meant? Remember, I’m no theologian, I’m not going to pretend to know the answer, but I do know that the Word also tells us that God desires a humble and broken spirit….perhaps He knew that without brokenness, our pride quickly kicks in and we lack the eyes to see Him and His goodness.
Here’s to the kind of poverty that Jesus promised would bring us an inheritance!