Not everyone loves winter as much as you do, Winter Lover. Not everyone shares your blissful cheer and optimism. I don’t want to spend all winter complaining (especially since in MN that would mean about 6-7 months of complaining), but I also wish I did not have to interact with all of you Winter Lovers. Your obscene love for torture (cold, dark months that go on forever and ever) annoys me almost as much as winter.
And since “winter” is beginning early this year, it means so does my cold weather pet peeve–the Winter Lover who says to me as my teeth are chattering: “It’s not that cold! Oh, this weather isn’t that bad. It could be worse, it could be ________ (raining, blizzarding, 50 below, etc).” Ugh, or the one that really aggravates me is the Minnesotan who says something derogatory about summer, “At least there aren’t mosquitoes! At least it isn’t humid and 100!” Please give me West Nile and Humidity any day over winter!!!
As I was stamping my feet and shivering today on a field trip, another mother said something along these lines to me (something about rain and cold). I smiled my coldest smile (no, literally, not a snotty smile, just a really, really cold smile….I was just that cold) and I agreed with her absurd statement. Outwardly. Inwardly, this is more of what was going through my head: “Well, I can’t feel my toes and I can barely feel my fingers, so NO, it could NOT BE WORSE! It would just be the SAME! I still would not feel my extremities! ”
Winter lovers, watch out. One of these days my numb fingers will feel they have nothing to lose and will punch you in the face. And then I will tell you, “It could be worse! We could have a negative wind chill right now!” Which reminds me of my second cold weather pet peeve….it is a wind chill, people, not a wind shield.